


Not That I'd Admit Anything

by mischief_managed



Series: vices & virtues [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Fluff, M/M, and innuendo, drunk!liam, mature for language, the other boys only appear like once lol sorry, ziam centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4522401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischief_managed/pseuds/mischief_managed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lately Liam’s little guy crush on his best friend Zayn had intensified. They had begun spending more time together after their classes at uni - getting coffee, studying in the library, occasionally heading out to the gym. They ate lunch together at the dining hall when they had time, and last week Zayn had even asked Liam to accompany him to get another tattoo. Zayn didn’t know how Liam felt about him, and Liam intended to keep it that way, though it was getting more and more difficult with each passing day.</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>The one where Zayn likes Liam, and Liam likes Zayn, but Zayn isn't sure if Liam feels the same way, so when the boys go to a club he tries to make Liam jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not That I'd Admit Anything

**Author's Note:**

> okay so I actually started writing this around May during my precalc class because my teacher was really crusty and boring but I didn't finish it.
> 
> buuuuut then I graduated in june then I went to see 1D at OTRA MetLife on wednesday and Liam was just too perfect (well all of the boys were) and the lady in front of me kept texting her friend Zayn shade and it pissed me off and then mix that in with me being sad (bc I always tend to write nonstop when I'm sad or angry) and it cooks up me staying up until 2am last night finishing this fic. 
> 
> i hope you all like it, send me love with comments, kudos, or hit up my ask box on tumblr (paynes-malik) :))))
> 
> disclaimer: i don't own one direction or zayn malik but i sure as hell wish i did
> 
> also if you decide to share this please link it back to me or credit me with either my pseud or tumblr. thanks!

Liam usually wasn’t THAT guy. The one who was jealous, the one who was possessive and overprotective. And he especially wasn’t like that for one of his bros.

Lately Liam’s little guy crush on his best friend Zayn had intensified. They had begun spending more time together after their classes at uni - getting coffee, studying in the library, occasionally heading out to the gym. They ate lunch together at the dining hall when they had time, and last week Zayn had even asked Liam to accompany him to get another tattoo. Zayn didn’t know how Liam felt about him, and Liam intended to keep it that way, though it was getting more and more difficult with each passing day.

To celebrate the end of the fall semester, the boys and their friends wanted to go clubbing, so they picked out some place called Cosmic, where one of their buds, Louis, was planning on meeting up with his latest Tinder boyfriend. As soon as they arrived it was like the rest of the boys lost their minds. Niall went straight for the beer, Harry hit the dance floor, Louis clung to his date like glue the minute they found each other. Liam and Zayn paired up to sit at the bar. Neither of them had ever really been much for dancing. Just another Thursday night.

“Jack on the rocks, please,” Liam ordered.

“A glass of Pinot Noir for me,” said Zayn.

The bartender put their drinks together and set them down in front of the two friends.

“Classy,” Liam said, looking at Zayn’s red wine.

“Trashy,” Zayn joked back at Liam’s whiskey.

Between them it was silent. But the heavy bass of the club surrounded them. Liam glanced at Zayn. God, he looked fit, he thought. Zayn just looked so damn good in his black skinny jeans, black Rolling Stones tee, and black Doc Martens. His black hair was shaved on both sides but for tonight he decided to flip the longer top part to the side. He was a little scruffy tonight, Liam noticed.

On the other hand, Zayn knew he looked good. There was only one person he wanted to look good for, and that was Liam. Contrary what Liam thought, Zayn was in fact able to pick up on the subtle things Liam did to propel himself into Zayn’s attention. The coffee dates Liam insisted on paying for, bringing him snacks when he was cramming for midterms or finals, or just being around to listen if Zayn needed to vent.

Like Liam, Zayn had at first insisted to himself that his feelings for the other were just a little guy crush, nothing more. And also like Liam, he was finding it harder and harder to keep himself from declaring those feelings wherever he went, to whomever he met.

But of course, Liam didn’t know any of that.

Zayn gave Liam a once-over. He was looking bloody fantastic, as usual, with his short, light brown hair gelled into a small quiff with a fade on the sides. He trimmed his beard a little for the occasion, and was wearing a denim jacket with a white t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and classic brown leather lace up boots.

“You okay, mate?” Liam asked. He caught Zayn staring, and it was making him a little uncomfortable. “Is there a stain on my shirt? Oh, God, are my pants ripped?”

Zayn was confused as to how Liam had come to that conclusion until he realized - his eyes had landed on Liam’s crotch. Oh, baby Liam, so oblivious. He licked his lips.

“Zayn, hey, earth to Zayn,” Liam waved his hand in front of Zayn’s face.

“What?” Zayn snapped out of it. An idea had popped into his head.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Uh, I think the wine is just getting to me.”

“You haven’t even finished your first glass.”

“Shhh, Li. I’m gonna dance now,” Zayn downed the rest and headed to where Harry was leading the crowd in some novelty dance he made up.

Zayn wanted to try to make Liam jealous, perhaps to confirm his suspicions. Maybe he was being a little sadistic, maybe he was playing with Liam’s heart. Zayn decided to take that chance.

He wanted to move far from Liam, not so far that he would get sucked into Harry’s crazy crowd but enough so that Liam could still see him. Zayn noticed Liam had bought another drink - might’ve been a brandy, he couldn’t really tell. Mostly he noticed that Liam had begun to watch him as Zayn started to move to the beat of the music.

In previous years’ Thursday nights like this, Zayn would bar hop with friends through London with the intention of getting a good lay. He’d turn on the charm and pretend like he was a good dancer, and 90% of the time he would meet someone, it didn’t matter what gender, who was looking for the same thing he was, and in the morning they were gone and Zayn would go on with his day.

In that moment, Zayn knew he didn’t want to go that far with whomever it was he chose to be a part of his plan to make Liam jealous. He only wanted to get a reaction from him.

Soon enough, Zayn spotted a nice-enough looking bloke and moved toward him.

“Hey, mate,” he greeted. “You wanna dance with me?”

“Sure,” the guy replied and Zayn moved in close with him and swayed to the rhythm. He apologized for his lack of finesse but the man just laughed it off.

“You should know I’m not looking to go home with anyone tonight,” the blonde-haired guy said. “I don’t swing that way.”

“Even better, mate,” Zayn replied truthfully. “I just need someone to dance with for a little bit, so I hope it’s okay. If I get too close just let me know so I can back off. In fact, we don’t even have to tell each other our names.”

“I’m fine with that,” the nameless bloke said and they carried on.

From Liam’s perspective at the bar, it looked like Zayn and that random guy were flirting. It was bothering him, even though he knew it wasn’t supposed to, and he began to order endless tequila shots instead of the brandy he had earlier.

The bass kept thumping, and the blonde bloke now had his hands running down Zayn’s chest from behind as they danced. Zayn’s left arm was wrapped around the other guy’s neck, their faces close as their hips gyrated to the music.

“You sure you’re not even a little bit gay, mate?” Zayn asked jokingly. Not that he’d admit it to anyone other than himself, but he was kind of enjoying the way this guy moved.

“Eh. I’ve had my moments,” said the blonde man, chuckling.

Liam gripped his shot glass hard. It was hurting him to see Zayn with someone else. It was killing him. He tried to tell himself not to be so focused on it, that of course Zayn wouldn’t want to be with him, they were just good friends after all. His mind was racing, his vision was blurring and the room was spinning and the only thing Liam could focus on was Zayn and the blonde asshole he was with across the floor. Their faces were too close together for Liam’s liking and he was clutching the glass so hard that at this point his knuckles were white. The drunken anger was building inside him, so he took a fifth shot then placed the glass back on the bar counter. He pulled out his wallet and put down 30 pounds then began stumbling his way to Zayn. He had to put a stop to this.

At first, Zayn didn’t notice Liam had moved from his spot at the bar. He was so caught up in the music and the movements that he almost forgot his original intention. He snuck a glance at the bar then started to panic a bit when he realized Liam wasn’t there. Zayn looked left and right in a hurry and with wide eyes saw an angry looking Liam drunkenly tripping and walking toward him.

“Shit,” Zayn swore, and detached himself from Blonde Guy. Liam reached for Zayn’s hand and missed at first, but on the second round he succeeded at grabbing his wrist.

“Figures,” Blonde Guy mumbled, and walked away.

“Liam,” Zayn started, but Liam cut him off.

“Shut up,” Liam grunted, and tugged him toward the back of the club, tripping over his own feet.

“At least let me hold you up.”

Zayn put Liam’s arm around his shoulder to keep him from falling in his drunken stupor. Liam didn’t protest, but he did start crying.

Liam was so shitfaced, so pathetic looking, and now that he was crying Zayn felt sort of bad for going through with his little plan. Liam’s feelings were obvious at this point and Zayn felt like absolute rubbish for manhandling his heart.

They made their way through the sea of bodies toward the back door, and Zayn pulled Liam outside. As soon as they were alone in the back alley, Liam threw the other man off of himself and started throwing blind punches through his soft sobs, Zayn dodging all of them without much difficulty.

“How could you…” Liam mumbled, then trailed off. “Should be mine...Fuck.”

He threw a punch aimed at Zayn’s face, but Zayn moved away at the last second so Liam ended up punching the wall.

“Shit,” Zayn gasped as the scrape on Liam’s knuckles started filling with blood. Liam looked like a right child now, holding his fist and sobbing.

“Babe, c’mere,” Zayn said, picking up the absolute mess in front of him. “C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Zayn took out his phone and sent a quick text to the other boys that he’d be heading back to their dorm with a pissed-off-his-arse Liam, who was still crying like it was no one’s business.

As soon as Zayn unlocked their room, he took Liam to the bathroom. He sat Liam, whose sobs had subsided a little, on the toilet and got out the first aid kit to clean and dress Liam’s bleeding knuckles. Liam started crying a little more when he felt the sting of the alcohol and Zayn just shook his head. He felt another pang of guilt as he looked at Liam. He never meant for it to get this messy, he didn’t think Liam would actually get hurt.

“Thanks, Z,” Liam said as Zayn bandaged his hand, kissing it as he finished. Liam had calmed down significantly since stumbling into their dorm, but Zayn noticed his eyes were getting glassy and drooping.

“Anytime, babe,” Zayn replied. He paused for a moment just to look at Liam and take him in. “C’mon then, let’s put you to bed.”

Zayn led Liam to his bed and tucked him in tight. He set up a glass of water and two ibuprofen pills on the nightstand, then decided against the idea of cuddling into Liam for the night and would take his own bed instead.

“Night, Li,” Zayn whispered as he turned off the light.

“Night, Z,” Liam slurred. “I love you.”

Zayn froze. He wasn’t sure whether or not Liam was telling the truth in his drunken haze. He wanted to say it back so bad it hurt, but he wasn’t sure if he would mean it. He didn’t want to get sucked into anything he wasn’t serious about, not in the dead of night. And he definitely did not want to get Liam’s (especially drunk Liam’s) hopes up, so Zayn just closed the door and plopped into his own bed.

*****

When Liam woke up, his head was pounding. The sunlight was too bright, and when he opened his eyes, he was temporarily blinded by the whiteness of his and Zayn’s dorm room.

Zayn.

Liam was so fucked the night before, he had drunk so much and had probably spewed out all sorts of bullshit. (He was never good at holding his liquor.) He didn’t remember much from last night, just watching Zayn dance with a man that wasn’t him, then ordering drink after drink. Everything after that was a blur.

Groaning, Liam turned over to the left, fully intending to go back to sleep, until he noticed a glass of water and two small, white pills on the bedside table. He figured one of the boys must have left that for him when they took him out of the cramped club. Liam reached for the water then noticed the bandages around his hand. And before he could even take a sip of the water, the events of last night came crashing into Liam’s mind so hard he had to close his eyes again and press at his temples.

Shit, Liam thought. Fucking hell.

When Liam finally opened his eyes, he sat up slowly to appease his migraine. He took the ibuprofen, downed the glass of water, and got up to change out of the previous night’s clothes. The moment Liam opened his bedroom door, the smell of eggs, bacon, and coffee permeated the air. It made his stomach growl.

As soon as Liam dragged himself into the kitchen, he was greeted by the sight of Zayn with his back towards Liam, humming and frying pancakes. It was so domestic and it made Liam’s heart ache a little bit because he briefly imagined waking up to Zayn making him breakfast every day for the rest of his life.

Not that he’d admit that to anyone.

In his head though, Liam was trying to memorize and file away every detail of the raven-haired man - the way his white t-shirt skimmed over his shoulders, the way his gray jogger pants sat teasingly low on his hips, the ink of his tattoos dancing over his skin, the way his body turned to face Liam and -

“Mornin’ sleepyhead,” Zayn said. “You look like right shit.”

Liam hadn’t exactly wanted to look in the mirror when he woke up. He opened his mouth to retort, but instead settled with, “Can’t argue with that.”

The pounding in his head had significantly gone down since taking the ibuprofen and splashing cold water on his face, but the pounding in Liam’s heart and the butterflies in his stomach were getting stronger.

Zayn gave Liam a sympathetic smile.

“C’mon then, babe,” he said. “No better hangover cure than a big, greasy, American breakfast.”

The dark-haired man placed a plate full of scrambled eggs, bacon slices, and at least ten pancakes in front of Liam’s spot at the table and poured him a mug of coffee.

“Dark roast Arabica beans with two creams and two sugars, just the way you like it,” said Zayn.

Liam gaped at him. It was amazing enough that Zayn had gotten up before 11am and well before Liam to make breakfast, but something as little as remembering how Liam took his coffee was something else entirely. If Liam had feelings for Zayn before, he was certainly in love now.

Not that he’d be saying that to Zayn.

“You remembered my coffee order,” Liam choked out.

“Why wouldn’t I, Li?” Zayn laughed that soft laugh that Liam liked so much. “You order it whenever we get coffee - and that’s like every day.”

Liam wanted to kiss him so badly.

“Um, about last night - ” he started.

“Eat first and we’ll discuss it later, yeah?”

“Oh. Okay.”

Liam wasn’t sure if he really had the appetite for the plate piled high with food, but he was proven wrong when he scarfed it all down and an alarming speed.

Zayn cleared their plates out of the way when they were both finished. Liam held on to his coffee for dear life.

“So about last night,” Zayn started. “Do you remember anything of it?”

Liam gulped. “Er. I remember most of it. It’s in bits and pieces though, and I’d sort of prefer it if you recounted it to me instead so I can protect my pride.”

“I supposed I could do that,” said Zayn thoughtfully. “Well, I assume you remember getting to the club.”

Liam nodded in affirmation.

“We ordered our drinks, I went to go dance, you apparently drank the whole bar, then as I was turning up you stormed over and started pulling me to the back of the club, but you were so shitfaced I had to hold you up while you quote-unquote ‘pulled’ me outside to the alley.

“Then you started trying to attack me? Fight me?” Liam cringed at that. “Was a good attempt though, you sure scared me. And then you tried to punch me, but since you were drunk and had no coordination while I did, I dodged and you punched the fucking brick wall.”

“And you were crying - even before the brick wall - you were a proper emotional mess. So I brought you back here and cleaned you up and put you to bed. In hindsight, I realize we were literally only at the club for like an hour before you lost yourself, Li. You need to get better at holding your alcohol.”

Liam flushed red in embarrassment, and took bigger gulps of his coffee.

“Uh, do you remember anything I said? If I said anything?” Liam asked cautiously.

Zayn looked Liam straight in the eye then.

“Don’t think I could forget, honestly,” Zayn replied. “Li, did you think I was planning on going home with that bloke I was dancing with?”

Liam broke eye contact and looked down. “I - uh - well, yes. It sure looked like it.” He tried not to let his jealousy show.

“I have to be honest with you, Liam,” Zayn said over his own coffee. “You know, you kept talking about how I shouldn’t have been dancing with that guy and instead have been dancing with you.”

Liam blushed again. “Zayn, I - ”

“No, hear me out. You went on while sobbing about how you’ve wanted me to be yours for ages and I wasn’t sure if I should take it seriously or brush it as just drunk ramblings.

“Over the past three years of uni, I’ve been kind of feeling like there might be something more between us but I wasn’t sure. So instead of just talking to you about it the way we are now, I thought it would be a good idea to try and make you jealous by dancing with some random. I didn’t think you’d actually get so intense. And now here you are, hungover with bleeding knuckles.

“I’m so sorry, Li. I’m an arse. Just - was there any truth in anything you said?”

Liam stared blankly at Zayn for a moment. He needed to absorb this information overload. He was still a little out of it.

“Honestly, Z, you really fooled me, the way you and that guy were going at it,” Liam said finally. “I was pretty fucking jealous.”

Zayn released breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I would have told you I had feelings for you, I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he said.

Liam guffawed then. Like, actually guffawed.

“Zayn, even if any of our feelings for each other were unrequited, I’d still stay friends with you,” Liam was smiling so wide his eyes crinkled. He stood up then and walked around the kitchen table towards Zayn. “Okay, I’m going to kiss you now, and when I finish kissing you, we can decide where we want this to go.”

Zayn just stared and nodded. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

Liam leaned down and pressed his lips against Zayn’s. And it was soft and sweet and welcoming and caffeinated and when Liam brought his hand to the other man’s face and caressed Zayn’s sharp cheekbone with his thumb, Zayn leaned into his touch so naturally.

Zayn audibly whimpered when Liam pulled away.

“That’s some good shit, Liam,” he said unabashedly.

“How was it?” Liam asked.

“Shit, Li, it was perfect.”

What Zayn kept to himself though, was that his first kiss with Liam had been the most perfect first kiss with anyone in his life.

But he didn’t dare mention this to Liam. Not yet, anyway.

“Now, will you do me the pleasure of coming to dinner with me tonight at the Fontainebleau at 7?” Liam asked. “Careful now, I’m asking you on a date so you better say yes.”

Just to be a little shit, Zayn replied, “Hmmm...you know I think I’ll have to check my schedule. I might have something going down tonight.”

“You and I both know that the only thing going down tonight is my hand down your pants.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Li! You can’t just say things like that!” Zayn said, half-faux-scandalized and half-turned on. “We haven’t even been on our first date yet.”

“I can and I will,” Liam said, pressing a kiss to Zayn’s nose then lips then standing up straight to saunter off to go shower. “Take me or leave me!”

Zayn snorted at the double entendre but decided that yeah, he was gonna take Liam and keep him around for a long time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope this satisfied y'all the way this satisfied me :)
> 
> I'm thinking this will be a series of cute ziam moments and maybe an actual plot, we'll see lol


End file.
